Week 28 World Wide Update by Karl

Hey everyone!

It's me again, but I promise this time it won't be a weird, untrue update...Well, it'll be all true! And as always, disregard grammar. My mom says that she taught me better, but guess what, I learned to read and write in school.

As always, it's been a pretty normal week on the other side of the world. If you haven't heard already, our football season has ended. In the playoffs, we lost to the number 1 team in the league by a narrow margin. Our boys fought hard, but the fact that they out numbered us 2 to 1 made it difficult to pull out the upset. We finished the season with a final record of 5 wins 7 losses and 1 tie ending in 4th place. I believe we could have finished higher had we had all of our players in the last game. It didn't work out that way, and now, like the Chicago Bears we have to sit at home and watch the championship played by someone other than us. I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

The rest of our week has been pretty normal besides the fact that we got to see Lion King The Musical. Very good show considering I hadn't seen the screen play. The two main characters sucked, but the costumes and the music were pretty awesome.

This week allowed me to further my education in Brittney's Rotary responsibilities. I got to meet some of her fellow Ambassadorial Scholars as they prepared to save the world. The scholars that I met were all representatives of different Rotary clubs in the US. They were very nice people and very intelligent. I fit in like a whore in church. But I did end their huge debate. I swear, sometimes smart people out think themselves. It was all good, as they say. They are teaming up to raise money for a school in Tanzania. It's a good cause that gives children school buses, uniforms, the whole nine yards. I had nothing else to do, so I figured I'd take part in my woman's life a little more. Ain't I sweet?

Besides that and preparing for our many adventures through Australia, not too much has happened directly to us.

A few years ago, a history professor of mine told us about how his aunt had left him her diaries that she had kept since she was a child. He was so excited once she past since she had lived through The Great Depression, both World Wars, and Civil Rights Movements. He thought he was hitting the jack pot (as far as a history lesson is concerned). Turned out that all she had to write about was how Bobby Joe made her mad one day and just basic everyday life. He didn't get to see how people reacted during The Depression, or how the news covered Kennedy's assassination. He was thoroughly upset when he read through them. I, my friends, do not want any history buffs like Casey Rooney or anyone else to read this 40 or 50 years from now and feel like we left out every concept of life in our era. So for all you history buffs, here's some current history that you'll be able to look back on and...well, you probably won't smile, but you'll have something worthwhile to look back at.

August 31, 2005

North America:

This year Florida and the Southeastern Coast has already seen more hurricanes than they did this time last year. The most recent, Katrina, has caused massive flooding in Louisiana and Mississippi. Looting and flooding have especially devastated New Orleans since it is a large metropolitan area, and the city is actually below sea level. The water has gone out of control killing several people, and hundreds more remain missing.

In happier news, Canada is trying to sue the United States for a couple of billion dollars because the US has put a tax on Canada's soft wood. It's hard enough to sell viagra, what makes the Canadians think that soft wood would sell any better? haha. Seriously, they're trying to sue us for an issue that's been around for close to if not more than 20 years. I don't think they realize that we're in debt up to Sadaam's eyeballs. Oh well....I thought it was funny!

And then there's Mexico....

Europe:

In the Neverlands, the world's oldest woman died at the age of 115. The director of the nursing home that she lived in said that she was in great health mentally until the day she died. Minutes before she died, she actually said to him, "It's been nice, but the man upstairs says it's time to go." How spooky would that be? The oldest person in the world, now, is once again a woman. This one lives in Graceland...Memphis Tennessee. She too is 115, just a few months younger the past record holder. The oldest man in the world lives on a secluded island, but no one knows how old he is because he thinks that everyone that comes to ask is a woman trying to kill him!

Middle East:

640 Shiite Pilgrims have died in a bridge stampede. They were crossing a bridge in Baghdad when, it's thought, someone yelled out that there was a suicide bomber. The proclamation resulted in a frenzy by the crowd, and a railing collapsed. The body count may increase, but that's where it stands to this point.

Asia?

This is not necessarily news about Asia, but rather a report from Asia...Beijing. It's been reported by the UN that nearly 2 million women and children are trafficked every year. This means that they are pawned off as sex slaves, solicitors, or beggars. It seems that 2 million is too high of a number for the UN, and now they say this has gone too far. I would have thought that 100,000 may have seemed a bit excessive, but what do I know? My degree's in Health Education. Either way, it doesn't seem healthy to me....

Australia:

You know what? Even though Australians are great people...They are very hospitable, their extremely friendly, and they know how to have a good time...they're just as dumb as Americans! How many times do these people have to see fellow Australians go to Bali with drugs...IN AN AIRPORT!...and get sentenced to death before they realize that everyone gets caught. Since we've been here, there have been at least 8 morons who have been caught. I'll cut the first one some slack; she claims she didn't know she had the drugs on her. Someone else, in jail, has confessed to putting them in her bag without her knowing. But there's two problems: A. She's still getting life in prison. And 2. Why the hell would you still go there, with drugs taped to your body, after seeing this? Maybe I'm naive...I'll just leave it at that.

Reality:

By doing this little exercise I've come up with three conclusions...

1. The news and history are a sad place to live. I understand why my professor's aunt only wrote down what was going on in her life rather than what was going on in the world. It was probably happier than the crap she read or heard on the news.

2. There are dumb people in every part of the world. Most of them are the ones who cover stories about dumb people.

3. I have way too much time on my hands!


Thanks for reading!

Karl

By the way...There's not a good word of the week.

Word of the Week:

Two words that are commonly used for men and women.

First word. Male. Sounds like Choke.
What did that bloke just call you?

Second word. Female. Sounds like the shoe brand Fila.
That sheila just grabbed my dingo.

Blokes are guys. Usually not classy guys, sometimes athletes, but always guys.
Sheila's are chicks. Not a certain type of chick (good or naughty), but always a chick.