Week 30: Picking up Steam (Karl)

Howdy ya'll,

Your well traveled author is back. No, not Brittney, it's me KARL!!! I know you're excited I can see it in your eyes. Anyways, another week has passed. This week seemed to be a little more exciting than we had anticipated. Brittney and I celebrated the end of another week by working all F$#&ING day long on Thursday. Wasn't that exciting?!

Friday picked up steam a bit...After hanging out with the ever so exciting Rotary kids (they're really great), we went up to one of our "well-to-do" friend's houses. This place is out in the middle of nowhere, has an unbelievable view to the city, a theatre room, bar, in ground pool, tennis courts, and endless alcohol (this is how the night gets interesting). Since Brittney-poo and I were the designated drivers as usual (at least I was), we got to watch drunk people wander around with one goal in mind...to hook up! One guy took it a little too far and scared the crap out of all the North American girls. He just got a little too...anxious we'll say. Good guy for the most part, he just looks scary, piercings, red hair with the sides and back shaved off, he just looks really scary. It doesn't help that he's loud and groping everyone. To his defense, he was not a sexist groper. I was actually groped on several occasions along with several other men. Well, the night ended abruptly, and our man Leo came through in the clutch to drive us home. Yes, I realize we were the designated drivers, but we don't have cars. How are we supposed to drive people around?

Saturday was another alcoholic adventure! The night of my football team's awards presentation...Adventure isn't the right word, but we'll just leave it at that. To start the day...we'll just start at 6:30 pm. So I'm told to show up at the football field at 6:30 (this is where we're having the presentation). Of course, my lovely ladies and I are the first ones there. In typical Aussie fashion the rest of the people who are supposed to set up for this shindig show up at 6:45. NO WORRIES MATE as they say here, and we got set up pretty much on time. This event was supposed to begin at 7:00. At about 7:25 the first car shows up, and there's not a single one of them who could even attempt to walk a straight line let alone drive a car. Eventually everyone showed up and we got underway with the food.

Our president had a really good idea to have comedy awards to start the evening off after dinner. This is before we have our real awards. It was hilarious! Basically we made fun of some of the guys while giving them awards. I wrote up some things for the people to say when presenting the awards. They didn't know what was coming, and it was quite funny. The crew needed a cigarette break every hour, and they were quite talkative to boot. Those awards went fairly well. Now it was my turn. I decide that I'm going to say a little bit about each player. I didn't have anything planned, and I was told I did a good job winging it. A good job, that is, until they decided to interrupt me every time I spoke. They're all wasted, and I'm trying to be somewhat serious. Not an easy mix. We got through all the presentations and awards with minimal difficulty. And then the fun started...

In Australian tradition, we had a raffle to raise some money for the club. Prizes were donated and money was taken to raise money. One of the prizes happened to be a bottle of Jim Beam. Great idea, except for the fact that everyone in the room was drunk. Long story short, someone walked out with the bottle and the president became unhappy. I was giving a goodbye speech when one of the Samoans walked out ready to fight because he was accused of stealing the bottle. I went on with the speech and no body seemed to notice the slight escapade. I was showered with thank yous and good lucks, and it was a great time. Later a fight broke out between two brothers...It was insane! We came to find out that the guy that left in a huff was upset because he was accused of stealing the bottle. He actually had it, and everyone knew it. He wasn't mad that he was caught or that someone told on him. He was mad because one of the guys played a joke on him and sold him the bottle for $15. Well, no one told him it was a joke, and furthermore, no one gave him his 15 bucks back. We got out of there unscathed, and we lived to see Sunday.

I can't tell you what happened on Sunday, but I'm sure it was great. Oh yeah, I watched Western Kentucky University beat up on Eastern Kentucky, Brittney planted trees and picked up garbage, and we ate dinner. AWESOME!!

Monday....yep.

Tuesday....ummmm? Oh! Brittney was supposed to go someplace up north to give speeches. Well, the woman that was supposed to host her had the worst weekend in the world (broken ankle, flu, death in the family, pregnant daughter,etc.). So, Brittney couldn't go out there, but the first draft of her thesis is finished.

Which brings us up to Wednesday. I've been offered $500 to be a guinea pig. They want my sperm!!! Brittney said no, but when I told her I can even earn more if I do good she changed her mind (kinda kidding). Basically, all I have to do is work out with my legs while they run tests on me. I guess I fit their needs: big, dumb, poor. No sperm involved, but I do get paid to work out.

My fantasy football team sucks, but might get better. And we're getting ready to go on one of
our many adventures...

That's our week in a blog page!

Word of the Week

When two cars run into each other, no one is hurt, but traffic has been stopped, they've been involved in a bingle.

When something is "sick" or "totally radical dude", the kids here (even my boss) would say that it was grouse. Don't ask me...I thought it was a bird?

Thanks, as always, for reading, and we'll be seeing you on November 30th if you're in the Chicagoland area and December 10th if you're in the Bowling Green region of the world. Talk to you kids later, and remember...don't tell me about my grammatical errors. I just don't care that much. Love you, Mom!

Karl

Almost forgot...I got an article published about me on this Australian website that covers "Gridiron". www.thebear.com.au